Do you remember the time when you were a kid and all of the grownups you knew asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? I would always answer that I wanted to be a teacher, or like my mom. I miss the days when we could answer anything and no one would object, or the days when we didn’t have to worry about our future because it was, oh, so far away. It annoys me how those days are long gone now, and we can’t simply decide to be anything we want anymore.
This reminds me of how in Middle School, everything felt like fun and games. We would learn but nothing would be so stressful, or extremely important that it would affect our entire future. In High School, I feel like everything is much more serious, it is academically, but the hallways are always silent and everyone is working. I have to admit that I miss the clamor of the younger students.
Anyways, all the conversations my family has around the dinner table are about the future. It annoys me how they are always talking about my older sister’s career and the college she will go to. I feel excluded in these conversations, because, although college is in my near future, it is still a good four years away, so I don’t need to worry about it now. But I despise how my family only focuses on my sister and when they ask me what I will study (and I tell them that all I know is that I do not want to work in a cubicle) they laugh at me and say I will be a carpet installer. I know it’s a joke, but my family laughs at me (making me feel, strangely, a little more included because they are talking about me) and then four seconds later they go back to my sister’s future. Something that annoys me is how whenever they ask me what I want to be, and I answer model, photographer, artist or teacher (these were my choices up until now) they would always tell me either, that I should want to be something with a higher pay, or that they should by my hobbies rather than a career. The thing is that as long as I am doing something I love, I don't care about the pay (they don't seem to understand this). Graduating from High School is a big deal, and I understand why my parents are so devoted to talking about it, but either way it irritates me.
I know what you are thinking. I do not want to steal my sister’s spotlight, the one she deserves as a junior in High School, but I would indeed like to be a part of this conversation, or have my parents take my future into consideration and take that seriously, instead of a joke. I know that deep inside my parents care about my future, and all those things they tell you when you bring up the subject, but I just wish they would act like they cared as much as they say they do.
I realize that I don't have as much liberty to choose my future, but all I know for now is that I still have time, I can still choose whatever I want to be when I am older. In other words, I am not a grownup yet.
Sincerely,
Me
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